How to Remain Positive and “Keep It Together” Even When Things are Falling Apart
The boss just passed you up for a promotion, your mother called and left you feeling less than adequate, you had a fight with your boyfriend; here are some quick tips how you can keep it together even when you feel that things are falling apart:
- Keep your “internal” dialogue positive. For example, instead of saying, “I’m never going to get through this, or why does everything always happen to me” say, “I CAN get through this, or I need to see how I can get what I want in life.” Those little positive changes in words are powerful, and will make a difference.
- Use this opportunity to learn a valuable lesson. There are no accidents, everything happens for a purpose and a reason. The more painful the situation, the more valuable the lesson. A client of mine got divorced after 40 years of marriage; she was devastated, and couldn’t understand why her husband would ask for a divorce after all those years. She decided to go to therapy to help her through this rough time and learned that her husband was emotionally abusive to her. The therapy opened her eyes to something that she was in denial about. She got divorced, and started a new life that is happy and fulfilling. Her divorce was the best thing that happened to her; she learned that she didn’t have to put up with his abuse, and realized that she deserved better.
- Use this time to set your boundaries. Many times things happen to us because we have no boundaries and we allow things to happen. This is a good check point to see where your boundaries lie. Do you allow people to walk on you and take advantage of you, or do you have a clear and healthy limit that lets people know what you are comfortable with.
- Remain non-emotional. I know this is hard one…but if you can stay in neutral, and not get emotional over the injustices that happen to you, you can make better choices, and better choices lead to a better life!
Marla Sloane, Ph.D.
Marla Sloane, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved © 2005-2020